hopecore or something

content warning: obsessive thoughts

hello!!! it's been a while since i last blogged on here. i don't remember if i made a blog entry after the first day of fall semester or not, but i'll write as if i haven't. i'm currently writing this at school :p. i have an hour and thirty minute break between classes, so i went to a lobby area in the building i have my next class in, and i got to eat lunch that i brought from home. in my parents' language, we call packed lunch "baon", pronounced "bah-oh-n". i'm very happy and satisfied; normally i just bring a snack and eat at home, but i got to eat something more filling today.

my favorite favorite favorite substack writer posted an article about her life recently!!! i love substack because there's so many well thought out articles on political issues on there, but sometimes, i want more creative writing, more poetic prose. i adore this specific writer because she has recently been incorporating animalistic themes in her works. i love that stuff so much!!! there's this one line that i remember from her most recent post that was about feeling the shape of her molars with her tongue. it was a very nice line, i liked it a lot for some reason. :p

i love the recommended feed that i curated on substack in general, actually. it's so queer, mostly women/nonbinary people/gender fucks, so LESBIAN!! and it's very rarely white! there's some white writers i follow, but there's some times where i read their articles and feel that distance between their experiences and mine, and it feels uncomfortable... so i avoid them sometimes. but yes, my feed is very woke or whatever and i love it. umm i'll name drop some faves here:

• yours, inigo
• cowboy cathedral
• sheep skin
• queer hoodoo housewife
• tita boy's substack

i might reread some of the aforementioned writers' articles soon because they bring me great joy. so much joy.

completely off topic, i've been thinking about my obsessions and whether it could even be considered obsessions and could be further considered as ocd or if i'm just crazy. i have this rule where i feel like i cannot have two good days in a row; one really good day must be followed up with an absolute dogshit day because i can only have so many good things. i've been thinking about that rule especially recently. i've been thinking about potentially having ocd since the beginning of this year, but idk, lately it just seems like it's not severe enough to be considered ocd. idk! it hasn't completely debilitated me, so it's something i'm not prioritizing for now.

i still have one hour left before my class zz..... i'll go do some homework and end this entry here. goodbye!!! i hope to write soon!!!!

love, irid